Saturday, September 30, 2006

Mergers are in the air

A vain attempt to cure myself from a severe attack of "writers block"...

Dear Madam,
I do not know whether the thought ever crossed your mind, but I have considered the possibilities of a merger of our business ventures. I have made the following observations as a result of a brief study of our businesses. Of course it is impossible to conclude on the probability of a successful merger based on the facts at hand. I will place these facts before you anyway, so that you too may consider the propositions that would help you make an informed decision.
Based on current market statistics, you cost my mind one thought every six and a half minutes. The figures also show that I earn one blissful dream of you every 3 nights on average. But you also cause me additional risks, because I find that I am 60% more likely now than before to meet with an accident while I am driving, as a result of thinking about you instead of concentrating on the road. To balance that risk, I will have to spend an additional fifteen Dollars per month on insurance – which I cannot afford. I admit that you have increased the number of “ecstatic” days in my life by 7%, but on the other hand, you have also increased the number of anxious days by 54%, so it is actually a net loss of 51% in the number of dull and uneventful days in my life – and I am still unable to decide whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing.
My intuition predicts that a merger will increase thoughts of you up to a thought every 3 minutes and reduce the returns on dreams as real life will actually be better than my dreams. The new business opportunities that will be created, such as; having someone to hold, someone to be with and talk to, someone to share the deepest secrets with and someone who will always be there for me and vice-versa also look promising. My business has undergone structural changes in preparation for major developments in the market as I have successfully finished my studies. I am now in the process of preparing myself for a challenging climb up the “corporate ladder”. I understand that your circumstances may be different, but I am confident that you are an accomplished individual who has a good grasp of the daily complexities of life. The only significant risk I foresee is the geographical separation of our operations at the moment. Even though I have sufficient expertise in designing Information Communication Technology solutions to such business problems, my assessment of the current situation is that it would be best to take the time to understand each other’s business operations in depth and develop a healthy level of trust and reliance on each other before we commit to a formal merger. This will also give us enough time to plan on how we could overcome the geographical barriers and build a healthy partnership. I would be much obliged if you could also do a similar pre-assessment of the threat matrix of a possible merger and analyse the results.
A merger will demand substantial investments from both of us mostly aimed at long-term returns. I still have very little business intelligence on your business plans and strategies, and therefore I am still unable to decide whether it is safe to merge our resources and risk the stable operation of our individual businesses. I also need to complete an assessment of the tax environment – but the ultimate decision on whether we would get any tax exemptions in the future lies entirely in our hands. I acknowledge that a merger is partly about taking calculated risks in good faith. I can assure you that I will focus all my resources on the success of our merger – should we decide to have one – as the rate of our individual growth has peaked and a merger holds exciting prospects for further growth.
In the event of a merger, we both need to decide what sort of capital investment is needed before we can begin operations. We also need a basic estimate of how long it will take us to break-even and start making profits. Most importantly, we have to commission a thorough study of the ongoing operational costs and additional capital investments that are needed to keep the business profitable.
Having considered the facts so far, I am confident that a merger will be mutually rewarding and very profitable for both of us. I am confident that it will be the best business decision we will ever take in our lives, provided that we streamline the management process, reduce costs, ensure employee satisfaction and adopt sound business ethics and best practises. With the hope that you too will carry out your assessment on the matter with "objective optimism" (that's not an oxymoron), I remain,
Faithfully yours

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