The aftermath

Being many oceans away from paradise isle, I have been unable to keep abreast of all the developments and destruction that is going on within the pearl of the Indian Ocean during the past few months. As it is typically the case with pearls, I would assume that the irritation and suffering is still very much a part of daily life for a majority who are poor and powerless.

The war is not officially over yet but we have been at war for more than 20 years. Even though the cause of the war may have its roots in history, many agree that the war itself began in its current scale with the 1983 massacre of 13 soldiers by the LTTE – where the people of the south reacted in a most disgraceful manner (apart from the LTTE there were many more armed rebel groups in the north at that time). As disgraceful as it was and is, the fact is that we as a nation could not bear the deaths of 13 of our own. That is how sensitive we were then.

Fast-forward a decade and a half and see how we reacted when 1500 soldiers were massacred in Mulativu and when the Dalada Maligawa was bombed. One can argue that we had learned from our mistakes after 1983 and matured as a nation, but on the other hand we forgot those incidents within weeks. (I can recal in vivid detail the tragic death of Princes Diana in August 1997 and the Maligawa Bombing in January 1998 and how by June 1998 - we were still mourning the death of the English princes with more anguish than the attack on our most sacred national treasure!) The daily death-toll of soldiers in the news received less attention than the cricket scores that followed. Our hearts had hardened and we had lost our sensitivity. We as a nation had forgotten the value of life.

It is much easier to make a soldier out of a man than to make a man out of a soldier. If you were given a machine gun and asked to shoot those in front of you, would you or could you do it? This is what "training" does to the mind of a soldier. The average soldier gets a "thrill" out of killing the 'enemy' because that is the only way that he can ignore the immorality of his actions. This is not an erosion of their morality – but rather a mask they wear unconsciously to hide themselves from self judgement. Society however makes them heroes and champions of the nation because they are the only ones who make a genuine sacrifice for the sake of the nation – and they sacrifice their lives. When generals and commanders talk about the morale of the Armed Forces– this is what they mean – their willingness to kill. The dark truth is that a soldier who gets a 'kick' out of killing need to keep going – or else he would suffer psychologically – they may call it boredom but it could be that their conscience is catching up on them! Either way, they are men with noble intentions who have been forced to indulge in an evil to safeguard the sense of security of a nation and the political interests of an elite few.

What is happening to the thousands of soldiers who don't get to 'indulge' in active combat as a result of the ceasefire and subsequently with the dawn of a permanent "lack of war"? Their stress levels will increase as a result of the fact that they don't get to 'kill' anymore and they would eventually engage in acts of violence against society. When we hear about army "deserters" causing all sorts of trouble; this is what is taking place. It is a complex problem with its roots in psychology and a gloomy influence on sociology.

At the end of the war, the soldiers should be 'de-militarised' and rehabilitated before they can be re-integrated into the society. This is a very complex process and one that might even cost a lot. That is the cost of peace in the aftermath of war and next big challenge that we will have to face as a nation. What we may have to face as we try to rehabilitate the combatants of both sides could be a war of sorts in its own right. Imagine the stories we will hear and read from the soldiers who come back – how they lost their best friends in battle, of the widows and orphans that were left behind by those who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country and the memories of fire and destruction in the minds of refugees. How will we face the obliteration of an entire generation and the erosion of a grand culture that had evolved through millennia? How will we look back on the ‘80s and ‘90s and deal with memories where we rejoiced when we heard that our ‘enemies’ have been killed by their thousands – when it would have dawned on us by then that they were in fact our own brothers and sisters?

Think about it… and you will better understand what's going on…

It's time for bed

Since the exams are over, I have decided to join the bears of the north and go into hibernation.

On the matter of - Alwis Vs Donne...

Mr Donne and his "no man is an island" theory sure need some revision... Me thinks we are all islands and if we are not, we should be. This is not just my smart idea.

Kahlil Gibran says;
"But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

Yes! You heard right!
A moving sea that separates each of us - quite definitively making us islands!

Hallelujah!
I vote for Mr Gibran and his "every man (and woman) should be an island" policy!

After an "Ethical Dilemma"...

Exams end tomorrow,
But strife and elation continue…
Is there any advice we could borrow?
When life is sustained by both wit and sinew.

Perplexities…

In the middle of a momentary loss of consciousness – of the fact that final exams are starting in two days and that I should do something about the resolution I made to make an honest effort to study this time around – I figured that unless I fail a unit (which is not an insignificant possibility) I would have submitted the very last assignment out of all those that plagued me in this miserable undergrad life.
It is also in such flashes of unconscious, mindless contemplation that I actually wonder what the heck I am complaining about being an undergrad after all.

The point is… why is “being mindless and unconscious” and “being sensible”, fall on opposite sides of this subliminal scale of thought?

Obituary

The death is announced of: Creativity
Beloved wife of Freedom;
Youngest daughter of Imagination and Knowledge;
Loving mother of Art, Entertainment, Originality and Inspiration;
Grandmother of Science, Discovery, Resourcefulness and Vision;
Passed away yesterday under a pile of assignments.

Burial will take place tomorrow at -
Nogoodbooktoread cemetery,
Notimetoread St,
Pathetic 1234
Undergradlife.

No flowers or tears please.

SOS

I am totally uninspired, bored and tired. The rush of creativity and excitement that once satisfied my hunger and thirst has been flushed down the paradoxical commode of undergraduate life. I need emergency treatment… I need intensive care… I need… a good book to sink into…

Jane Austen; here I come…

Kind words

A kind word once spoken, no louder than the sound of a tear falling on to my lap, is still a word with the power to change a life, a word with the radiance of the sun, which outlasting their speaker, travels as far as that amazing vibrant light; from a long extinguished star.

Thanks Aash...

Changing seasons & life

A little tree shed an autumn leaf
And as it floated through the air,
A little cloud veiled the setting sun
And masked its blinding glare.
The leaf and cloud in my sleepy eye;
Seemed more than a crimson flare.
But a lovely second of a forlorn day;
A magical moment, with no one to share.

Turned dusk to dawn and day to night;
And my heart endured a winter’s cold.
In spring with laughter and childish dreams,
Mirth returned and thoughts were bold.
With peace of mind and a joyful heart
I remain, to watch the years unfold.
Will life be filled with surprises and joy
And contentment worth treasures untold?

Did the autumn leaf as it floated around,
Remember the sunshine of youthful sway?
Will it rest in peace and enrich the ground,
Or by the council truck; be swept away?

Conspiracy Theory

There is a conspiracy to keep me from posting on this Blog. How else to explain the pile of assignments cluttering my desk?

Horror-Scope

The stars tell you that you should not be reading a useless Blog when you have better things to do. This wasteful and time consuming habit of yours will lead to future time constraints especially for those who have a FYP in Jupiter and romantic pursuits in Venus.

For those of you who don’t have romantic pursuits in Venus, The heavens point to love, this month. Not just any sort of love. Donkey love! Stay the hell away from the zoo, and forget about touring through Negombo and Puttalam before something really bad happens.

The stars say that our proximity to the sun is close enough to comfort. They indicate extended holidays as a result of minor staff strikes in Uni. So maybe this month isn’t a good time for any Uni-related activity because even though the stars are usually kind to students; especially undergrads, governments are not. So you bloody well know what’s in store for us this week!

I am casting my vote for the goat...

Its election time down under. but while the Liberals and Labour battle it out for the October polls it is election time in uni as well… we are faced with the daunting task of selecting the student reps and office bearers for next year.

Who the hell cares! I mean does it matter who it is… as long as I know that nobody nominated me.. and I have no chance of getting thrown into the cauldron I am happy to take the tram to uni each day.

But like hell… very few people if any seem to share my point of view. Not a minute goes by without somebody bumping onto me begging for my vote. Darn… it’s worse than the general elections in Sri Lanka I tell you... at least back home, you have the violence to keep you entertained during the campaigns.

The worst part is I have hardly seen most of these people! (No that could actually be the best part) They ask for my vote and I am like “errr… are you from this university? You sure you are not lost… because this is a university…” and they rip of their student IDs as proof! Geezzz such desperation… for what?

Ahh… but I don’t know these things… why… what a thing it would be to put on your resume! Then I hear the “Antharr Vishva Vidyala Shishya Bala Mandalaya” buggers grinding their teeth many oceans away. What would happen if they put that on their resume? Those poor souls will be unemployed for life!

Anyway, I will have to battle this out for another week. But it has its pros too. We bumped into a girl yesterday… Smoking cigarette in her hand which was decorated with countless rings of all sorts, and gazillions of metal pieces protruding from her face and belly… she stoped us in her own ‘cool’ way handed some leaflets pleading for our votes, puffed enough smoke into the air to turn a pig into bacon and strolled off.

But excuse me… I am not a member of your cult… but thats no mater. What plans for next week? you guys planning on killing a goat and drinking its blood on Full moon? And hey... can i have its meat... after all since i voted for you and all... because lamb and beef is really expensive these days you know... and we International students can't afford it...

oh… the life of undergrads… will it last forever?

Of a dream so real...

She came to me in a dream last night and spoke to me. We chatted away for hours as if we had been best friends all our lives. We talked about our sweet yesterdays and planned our tomorrows as we leaned on each other with the sun on our faces. We ran and waltzed on wet blue grass. I held her hand as we walked across the sand. I felt her cold wet hands on mine; her touch felt so real that I can almost feel it now as I think of it. I looked into her eyes and she into mine and we smiled. Yes, she smiled that wonderful smile that made me fall in love with her and for a moment everything stood still. Time with its eons of history and eons of things yet to come just froze for a moment. That moment felt like a brief minute which passed by so slowly, yet so swiftly that it was gone before I could grasp its peace and serenity. I wish it lasted longer because I cannot remember when it was last, that I felt that peaceful feeling, or when it was last that I dreamt of her, but I will remember it this time. I will remember this dream for the pleasant memories it brought back to life. I will remember her face that gleamed on me and the precious moments I spent with her in bliss, secretly in a dream on a cold lonely night.

Wanted!

A cure for anxiety and worry.
If you have any clue as to where one could be found, please comment below.

Breaking news!

Scientists and researchers at the Valentino Research Institute (VRI) of Marhartwyle in Australia have found that love is the leading cause of heartache and pain in both men and women all over the world. The statistics uncovered by the research is alarming as there is no known cure for the decease which is believed to be caused by the sting of an arrow of a blind and mischievous saint.

The research indicate that hugging pillows and daydreaming, adoring the pictures of the object of their love and an irregular heart-beat in the presence of their sweet-hearts are among the early symptoms of the decease which may lead to a life-long bondage called 'marriage' in terminally infected victims. Previous studies including some of the oldest pieces of literature ever known to civilization claim that “love is eternal” suggesting the possibility that the decease could remain in its victims even after death. The data collected in this lifetime remains inconclusive regarding the perpetuity of love and further testing is planned – during the researchers’ after life.

Researchers also warned that there is yet to be found a testable vaccine for this decease, even though the study has found that the natural immune systems of a handful of totally insensitive people have successfully repelled the infection in their hearts. They emphasised that a cold heart and hanging out with losers and desperados will reduce the possibility of "falling in love" while listening to love songs and watching romantic movies could artificially induce few of the early symptoms of love in some rare (nut) cases.

If you think you are "falling in love" or if you know of someone who has been recently infected, celebrate the immaculate birth of love in its new abode and be inspired by its power. Trying to cure the decease by keeping your feelings suppressed or breaking up other peoples romances is NOT recommended. (Watching horror movies or listening to heavy-metal music doesn’t help either… trust me!)

Power Switch

The magic button that makes everything work.

Troubled times

God give me strength to know my weakness
And even in pain to taste life’s sweetness
To know my heart and love’s true greatness
And see the light through mist and darkness

Let me hold on steadfast to my course
Even though the circumstances may oppose
Help me smile and bear life's joys and woes
A beautiful melody that they may compose

A prayer

Monday 16th August - 11.58am (AEST)

When you went to bed last evening
And closed your eyes to dream
I was missing you so dearly
It felt like I wanted to scream

It’s been a while since that foregone day
When you and I had to part our way
While through the night in sleep you lay
I whispered a prayer for you today

Did you know when you rose again
You’ve been in my thoughts all day
In your quest to find happiness and peace
When you take on the world today

As you stepped out with the morning sun
To start a new chapter in life
I closed my eyes and whispered a prayer
That your strength may win over strife

This is just a good luck charm
With best wishes for the coming years
To let you know we'll forever be friends
Till the sun and moon disappears

When the wind blows

When the gentle wind is in the trees
And the sun hides behind the haze
When dreams have floated far away
My frozen heart is set ablaze

When the gentle wind is in the trees
I run outside and ask the blow
Did you see that lovely girl?
Her jet black hair dancing in the breeze
Her gentle ways and eyes that glow
In her heart a precious pearl…

Did you carry that sweetest voice?
Tell me did she breathe you in?
Did she have a message for me?
Was she thinking of me deep within?

I hear the murmur of the leaves
As they whisper in my ears
And soft dew drops kiss my face
Are they heaven’s tears?

Maybe the wind is trying to speak
But its voice I cannot hear
Why does my heart leap out in joy;
And then is gripped with fear?

The gentle wind that crossed the seas
It can never wipe the memories past
But it will blow away my pain
Blow yet stronger my gentle breeze
And carry me over the oceans vast
Where tears will blend with rain

Do you?

Is there anybody who believe in 'Angels'?

I am surprised

I am NOT surprised to see how people invest their wealth in stocks, bonds, banks and property, but I am surprised at how much we underestimate the importance of investing an encouraging word, a kind gesture or any sort of help in another person.

Is that because the dividends of such investments are much more difficult to measure? How can we keep account of the number of smiles we cause in our lifetime or how a life has changed by one kind word uttered in a ‘hush’? How to measure the warmth of a hug?

We need a political solution... seriously!

Computer operating systems are designed to manage the hardware resources of a computer efficiently and cost-effectively, providing every program running on the machine equal and fair opportunities to do their job productively. The OS does not take bribes from processes to give them more CPU time, it is not corrupt and is flexible when it comes to changes in hardware and other system changes.

Has anybody thought of writing a computer program (something like an OS) to replace a government? I mean… think about it! Given the new Software development techniques such as object oriented methods that allow real world processes and entities to be more easily replicated/duplicated within a computer, and given the fact that the functions of government are not prohibitively complex, it sure seems like a good idea to me… give or take a decade or two for the software to be developed and consider the advances in technology that will make the idea more feasible in the future… just imagine having a computer system as the government of a country!!!

Am I reducing human beings to mere diodes and capacitors? Well, metaphorically that may be the case; just to illustrate my point. But I concede without hesitation that managing a country is far more complex than managing a computer - thus the suggestion to take a good decade or two and produce a modular, bug free system that can be easily updated.

And dwelling more on the technicality of the idea, “government” consists of a legislative, an executive and a judiciary. I don’t suggest that it is possible or rational to assume that the legislative or judicial functions can be automated just yet – not with the present technology. We need advanced artificial intelligence for that (with all due respect to the honourable MPs and the honourable judges, it seems apparent that we need artificial intelligence even in the present system, but that is another matter).

But surely, most of the executive functions can be automated? With a few exceptions like the armed forces and the police, most executive functions can be totally automated. I am talking about automating the whole process; not using IT to aide the functions of government officials – like for example; installing IBM black-boxes to suffer the abuse of incompetent users at the department of immigration and emigration. I am talking about using IT to actually cut down on the bureaucracy. Take away the fertile ground where corruption and waste prosper.

Doesn’t that seem like a bright idea to you? If not, tell me why…

Eureka!!!

Money comes from machines stuck on walls outside banks and shoping malls.

Forget about the fan

Because whatever hits the fan, does not spread evenly!

First thought of the day

The worse thing a wicked senseless prick could do to you is to turn you also into a wicked sensless prick!

Don't despair

Desparation pushes the limits of ability beyond the realms of possibility.

I managed to submit the assignment on time.

Are we or are we not?

Do I really exist? I honestly don't know. Could I just be a figment of someone's imagination or a shadow of another's dream? Does my existence have a purpose? Does it matter?
What does it mean to 'exist' anyway? My existence... is it the space that I occupy within the infinite boundaries of the universe or my thoughts and actions? What do I signify? Am I part of a cycle of creation or destruction?
I wouldn't count on anybody to give me the answers and I am sure that I may not have the capacity to fathom these answers. Maybe there aren't any answers out there. But to me; all that matters is whether we truly exist in one-another's hearts. I hold many dear ones in my heart, and and to me, their existence is real and it matters. I can only hope for a similar existence in theirs.

Paradise lost...

An ode to home; on a cold winter night Down-Under... plagued by assignments and exams...


Glide me beyond the clouds so high
To where the wind blows softly in my face
Where the ocean meets the land and sky
And foams the shores with a silvery lace

Take me back to those starry nights
Where the mountain whispers to the moon
Where the morning mist hides the city lights
And a butterfly leaps from its sleepy cocoon

Bring back those memories and vivid dreams
Of the princess who ruled my forsaken heart
I can still barely feel the warm sunbeams
And the tingling sensation of cupid’s dart

Missing yet another day in paradise

My stomach which is usually full to its contentment is churning and romping in hunger. I did eat four pieces of toast in the morning but that would have been at least eight or nine hours ago. I am typing away into my computer when I should be boiling pasta and cooking some sort of sauce that I can eat it with. Because the facts of life I am faced with now, dictates that “if I don’t cook; then I can’t eat”. Its as simple as that!

<5 minutes later>
There is not much left in the fridge that I could chop-mix-and-heat into a decent meal. This means I will have to do some shopping right now, or by the time I manage to cook something, I would be dead of starvation. Who would be thinking of dying with an exam just around the corner no? So I am off to the supermarket to get something to eat.

WTF

Where art thou freedom
Thou hast crept under my bed
When out of unbearable boredom
Empty minutes I shed

Data Structures and Algorithms
Hast come to haunt me still
My heart beating to 'blues' rhythems
When I try to gather my will

The exam tomorrow is givin' me chills
I just want to survive the day
I have to avoid the major spills
Until I manage to find my way

Oh freedom! Don't run away
I am rtying to keep my pace
I have to keep my longings at bay
As dawns another day to face

In the voyage of life...

Love is the tide that directs our journey in life, and the wind that pushes us forward and gives flight to our hopes and dreams. It is also the storm that tests our resolve and faith. Love is also the hull that keeps us afloat in the sea of strife and it is the destination, the land of discovery and promise. It is a world full of treasures untold hidden behind mythical dangers within the depths of our own hearts and minds.

Motto

When I believe, I become