I have not blogged in a while, for which this is no apology, but a finely brewed cocktail of the silent thoughts that stirred within me during the past three months. Last June, I flew back home after spending two years in exile and returned just over a week ago. Perhaps I should start where my holiday ended.
Seated in the departure lounge at the Bandaranaike Airport with a friend who was also getting back with me – perhaps our sad faces being starkly contrasted by the excited throng of 125 senior scouts making their way to a jamboree in England – I looked up to see three supersonic fighter jets of the Sri Lanka Air Force take off with a thundering roar. I had dreamt of becoming a fighter pilot all my life and for a moment, that dream came back. As they banked shapely soon after taking off, I imagined the G-forces and the thrill of riding in one of those cockpits. As we strolled through the duty free shops, I wondered what their target was, as my friend commented about how he would dread to be a terrorist in whatever place they were going to attack in a few minutes. I briefed him on the science of it and that ordinary terrorist combatants on the ground don’t even hear supersonic aircraft until well after they have bombed them and turned around to go back.
Forty five minutes later, it was time to board our plane and an hour later as our aircraft was taxiing on to the runway, the three jets landed just ahead of us and almost magically disappeared in a few seconds. It was then that I realised the depth of what I had witnessed during that hour – that someone not too far away would have lost a parent, a child, a spouse or sibling, a loved one, a friend. They will cry, mourn, there will be a funeral if they could find the mortal remains of someone who was alive at the time I saw the jets taking off, but was dead an hour later. Out of the hundreds of friends and loved ones I met during the last seven and a half weeks, some will call it a victory over terrorism and rejoice, some will at least hurt even though they may not mourn the loss of a person who speaks their language and worships the same God. Some will not even know.
It is not easy – even after a week – for me to describe, let alone define what I felt then. What I felt about the country and people I was leaving behind, the faces of loved ones, the warmth of friends, the smiles of strangers, the emerald green treetops and gleaming paddy fields that never seem to change, the narrow cratered roads and the rickety vehicles that whistle past on them… but I had never seen a supersonic jet take off on a sortie before, so that image never came up in my mind when I thought about home… but it does now…
7 comments:
Well, it's good to see you are well and posting after what seemed like an eternity! Was wondering where the heaven have you been :-)
I see what you mean in your post. Some things we come across in life take us close to death and loss more than others, leaving us aware of its gloom.
But, that's not why I'm writing this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, you seem to put the 'terrorists' in an odd connection with innocent God-loving Tamil people in Sri lanka. Maybe it is that we both have different views on what the word 'terrorist' mean. But from my point of view, no matter what God he worships, or what he uses to justify his actions, you can't think of a terrorist the same way you look at an innocent human. Terrorism is not justified in any faith that is accepted by mankind and... I believe that, once a man/women walks the path of a terrorist, they forsake their humanity and all that is good about it. But, the myriad angles of this perplexing issue cannot be covered through atomic posts like this, I know. But am I missing something here?
As usual your writing is beautiful and it's always a delight to read them. Glad you're back man!
Anon, thanks for your patience and the compliments. I may not have been very careful with my use of the word 'terrorist' here, but i respectfully disagree with you where you say that "once a man/women walks the path of a terrorist, they forsake their humanity and all that is good about it".
1) i think we all have terrorist instincts within us. they come out in varying degrees depending on our experiences and circumstances and i am prepared to consider the premise that anyone can become a 'terrorist' and not know it. so i "put the 'terrorists' in an odd connection" not only "with innocent God-loving Tamil people in Sri lanka" but sri lankans and humanity in general, because i don't think the line that divides a terrorist from a non terrorist is so clearly defined as even i sometimes like to think. we are all fallible and none of us can assume a moral high-ground based on any political judgements.
2)i think each life - whether that of a terrorist or non terrorist by whatever definition - is equally valuable and has equal rights to co-exist. if we, for argument's sake, define a person who does not respect the value and sanctity of a life as a 'terrorist', with it comes a moral obligation on our part, to value all life and respect its sanctity - even the lives of terrorists.
in disagreeing with you, i hope i have also provided a counter argument that's worthy of your intelligence.
Haren, I admit, I see the error in my point of view. I've underrated the value of human life through naive notions and will check my primitive trains of thought in future.
Furthermore, I understand that the Law or anything else for that matter doesn't define what a Terrorist is the way it defines a 'criminal'. But terrorist or no terrorist, if someone ever defies the law and order of a country, should be treated as the law states. They are entitled to human right as everyone else...
Thank you for your kindness and dignity in clearing my thoughts.
Anon, I am not sure whether i am glad that you agreed, but i am surprised that you did so fast. either way, i am glad that our different openions encountered each other because it is through those that the limits of our understanding can expand. So long!
Haren, I should have explained myself a little better. I reacted to your post out of the misguided notion that you were sympathizing the terrorists when in reality, was speaking of how you were overcome by an acute awareness to the effect a war can have on mankind in general and the loss of Sri Lankan lives from both sides.
Death comes equally to us all.
And this false notion also lead me to believe that you were more biased towards the terrorists and was only considering their losses with detail. But I was blind to the fact that no matter what side we are on, those who die were all Sri Lankans. My twisted perception also lead me to see as if you were making our soldiers/pilots look like mindless murderers of human beings with families and loved ones, and cause infinite grief and destruction to the people of the north with their sorties and operation.
I've been reckless with my words.
Hope this explanation was clear.
Cheers!
It was very clear, thanks! hope you will drop by often :)
Well done Haren ayya. if there were more that thought like you, the mere thought of a better world would be more than a "Hope"
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