Wednesday, December 20, 2006


The stars are silent. The moon has waned.
Even the busy street has gone to sleep, tucked under a blanket of scarlet lights. It is the hustle of the trees and the songs of crickets and beetles that fill the air.
The ocean crashes on a desolate beach, but its hum has already faded into empty space.
I wait here as I have waited all my life, wondering whether I will see you in my dreams tonight... wondering whether I will hear your voice and smell your hair... unsure whether I could feel your hand slip into mine or see the way you part those tender eyelids to spare a glance for me or smile back when I smile. I wait for a touch I have never felt, a light I have never seen and a warmth that has never shielded me from the cold winds. Hope keeps me company.
I try to imagine the conversations we will have one day, the quarrels we will resolve with a kiss, and the prayers we will pray together cuddled in each other's arms. I try to invent new words to draw a portrait of you. Simple, beautiful, timeless and honest words that would describe the cheer in your laughter, the grace with which you walk and how the rhythm of my heart would change when you smile.
I need you tonight, even in a dream. I am tired... tired of receiving too many blessings when I don't have you to share them with... tired of days passing by too fast without a sincere smile. Friends stand by my side. Time offers me a hundred adventures. Freedom promises a thousand thrills. Sometimes I search for you in a verse that flows out of my heart or in a book I take up to read. Sometimes I see your radiance in an image that flows out my camera.
Yet they can no longer fill the emptiness in my little corner of the world. I try to be brave, to deal with the speculations of my mind and the yearnings of my heart. This night will pass, and another as I wait here... I will wait, and I will smile... always.

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