The epistles of crap that stream out through the university proxy server would have eased out a bit, ever since boredom and what is now defined as JAVA-Torture (A.K.A. being assigned to build multiplayer games in Java) started eating into my days. That never for a moment meant that I had forgotten those dear ones on paradise isle or that I had given up my hobby which is boring others to death with long letters… I was rather fed up with the pain of thinking fond thoughts of home and longing to be reunited with family and friends because such a day seemed too far away. It was a matter of “if your arm hurts – then cut it off” sort of thing.
Now my heart is awaking yet again with the rising sun of hope and promise that I will see the shores of paradise in a few weeks. I try to lull it to sleep again – fearing that another disappointment might put it to sleep forever, but the resilient stubborn thing refuses to give up. My heart has resumed hostilities with my mind yet again, this time accusing the mind of making secret visits to paradise isle in my dreams at night – all the while my heart has been eternally imprisoned inside the ribcage. I know the poor thing has a point, but I have so far refused to take sides on the matter. The last thing I want at this stage is to make an enemy of my mind – who else could count on to wade me through this bog of Java and Game Programming? Surely the heart is pathetic useless in that department! (Oops! I hope I didn’t shout it out too loud for my heart to hear…)
Anyway, getting back to the point of epistles, I fear the worst. I think the worst of our fears have befallen us. Let me put it this way. When was the last time someone wrote a letter to you that was had more than… say… ten sentences? Maybe ten thousand years ago? (No you couldn’t have lived that long in the first place… there’s only one person I know who is so old-fashioned that she could have actually lived so long ago!)
My theory is that there has been a mass exodus of people from the Internet back to the real world. I am not sure whether that is a good thing or not… most blogs and websites (including my very own) and even most email addresses are turning out to be relics from our past (nearly ten of those whome I mailed this to had 'permenent errors' in their email addresses) than mirrors of our Internet presence…
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Songs in exile
Home is where the heart is
And of course the place where the family biz,
With its bustle and hiss
And all those other things I miss
Exists, mix and lives
Where aunts and uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces meet…
To eat
Drink, laugh and share stories sweet
Home is where I need to fly
To walk through woods, climb mountains high
Sing a thousand songs and dance till I die
Under the stars at night to lie
And make a wish as one shoots by
I return home to those I love, silently, in a dream at night
The sight
Brings me hope and strength to fight
Home is where the wind blows
Over the still lake and the river flows
Through the valley floors
Around the mountain that soars
Majestically, and the full moon glows
And casts its hollow light on the still waters on a silent lake
I awake
To go through hell for heaven’s sake
And of course the place where the family biz,
With its bustle and hiss
And all those other things I miss
Exists, mix and lives
Where aunts and uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces meet…
To eat
Drink, laugh and share stories sweet
Home is where I need to fly
To walk through woods, climb mountains high
Sing a thousand songs and dance till I die
Under the stars at night to lie
And make a wish as one shoots by
I return home to those I love, silently, in a dream at night
The sight
Brings me hope and strength to fight
Home is where the wind blows
Over the still lake and the river flows
Through the valley floors
Around the mountain that soars
Majestically, and the full moon glows
And casts its hollow light on the still waters on a silent lake
I awake
To go through hell for heaven’s sake
Sunday, May 22, 2005
View from the bottom
The view from top always seems better… you see more and far, you breathe less carbon dioxide and you are within reach of more ‘things’. When you are at the top… or close to it, others inevitably look up to you - literally or metaphorically as the case may be – and most people who are at the top tend to look down at those below them (little knowing sometimes that the people at the bottom may have a clear view of what’s up their pants or skirts. I don’t mean that in a vulgar sense, but it’s just that people at the bottom usually see all the dirt on the shoes of those who are at the top.)
The view from the bottom seems limited – always boring, often bleak and meaningless, sometimes hopeless – which motivates them to climb higher in pursuit of a better view at the top and more oxygen. People at the bottom, look up to those above them - sometimes with envy.
The bottom is not always the hell hole it is made out to look. It is perhaps the most insightful place to be… the place where you meet the real people behind the multitude of faces you see on the road… the place where you learn to appreciate the difference between genuine and cosmetic smiles and find the essence of unbinding and unconditional love; because when you are at the bottom, those above you do not have to put on a smile for you or bother to go out of their way to be nice to you. You are at the bottom of the food chain, the bottom of the pecking order, the bottom of the social heirachy... The University of Real Life however is at the bottom, from which you could graduate with the broadest appreciation of life and how you want to live it and how to treat others who are above you and below. After you have learned that, it may not matter anymore whether you reach the top or not.
The view from the bottom seems limited – always boring, often bleak and meaningless, sometimes hopeless – which motivates them to climb higher in pursuit of a better view at the top and more oxygen. People at the bottom, look up to those above them - sometimes with envy.
The bottom is not always the hell hole it is made out to look. It is perhaps the most insightful place to be… the place where you meet the real people behind the multitude of faces you see on the road… the place where you learn to appreciate the difference between genuine and cosmetic smiles and find the essence of unbinding and unconditional love; because when you are at the bottom, those above you do not have to put on a smile for you or bother to go out of their way to be nice to you. You are at the bottom of the food chain, the bottom of the pecking order, the bottom of the social heirachy... The University of Real Life however is at the bottom, from which you could graduate with the broadest appreciation of life and how you want to live it and how to treat others who are above you and below. After you have learned that, it may not matter anymore whether you reach the top or not.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Miserable musings
“Been sometime since you blogged…” said Assh. Somebody had noticed my absence from among the living… someone actually took the time to inquire… what a poignant gesture! I was touched. It’s been a while since I felt that people took notice of what I did or didn’t do. I mean, it’s not a bad thing to be insignificant and invisible in society – actually it can be a lot of fun – but it is not something many can live with for too long.
No… hold it… don’t just head for the “Next blog >>” button just yet. I do have a point… err… sort of…
See, for the past one and a half years, I have been living in which is officially; the most liveable city in the world. Of course those over-paid UN observers who made that claim weren’t “international students” but it is not hard to see why Melbourne is a wonderful and very accommodating city.
But there is a limit as to how ‘accommodating’ any place could be. I’ve been here just too long… I have almost forgotten what it felt like for people I meet almost everyday to recognize me as their son… brother… cousin, nephew or friend – and that is not a good thing. I am surrounded by terrestrial beings that are nevertheless alien as those who star in “Battlestar Galectica” or “3rd Rock from the Sun”.
This is not a story of alien abduction, but rather about social ties. We are social beings… at least we Sri Lankans are. We live in clans… our lives are weaved into a strong mesh of family and friends – whether we like it or not. We can’t survive without knowing all the intricate details and intimate secrets about our neighbours and interfering with the lives of all those who are unfortunate enough to be interfering with ours. I don’t quite know what I am going on about… maybe it’s the one thing I’ve been shouting out for months now… I WANNA COME HOME!!!!!
No… hold it… don’t just head for the “Next blog >>” button just yet. I do have a point… err… sort of…
See, for the past one and a half years, I have been living in which is officially; the most liveable city in the world. Of course those over-paid UN observers who made that claim weren’t “international students” but it is not hard to see why Melbourne is a wonderful and very accommodating city.
But there is a limit as to how ‘accommodating’ any place could be. I’ve been here just too long… I have almost forgotten what it felt like for people I meet almost everyday to recognize me as their son… brother… cousin, nephew or friend – and that is not a good thing. I am surrounded by terrestrial beings that are nevertheless alien as those who star in “Battlestar Galectica” or “3rd Rock from the Sun”.
This is not a story of alien abduction, but rather about social ties. We are social beings… at least we Sri Lankans are. We live in clans… our lives are weaved into a strong mesh of family and friends – whether we like it or not. We can’t survive without knowing all the intricate details and intimate secrets about our neighbours and interfering with the lives of all those who are unfortunate enough to be interfering with ours. I don’t quite know what I am going on about… maybe it’s the one thing I’ve been shouting out for months now… I WANNA COME HOME!!!!!
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Lovescope
Heed their words the stars they say
While the thorny game of love you play
Keep all your worries out at bay
On this blessed St. Valentine’s Day
It’s not the only day of the year
To attend and care for those who are dear
No matter if they are far or near
Love them each day and make it clear
Aquarius
The stars are all evenly spread out in the cosmos for you so there is nothing significant happening in your loveosphere. Looks like you will have to creep into that pitiable ‘bachelors party’ again and spend Valentine’s Day with the guys – watch a movie, grab some junk food, drink Cola, idle around town, go home and pretend that you had the best Valentines day ever. How could you possibly have all that fun if you had a girlfriend no?
Pisces
You broke up just before the big day – so what! I mean who cares? I don’t mean to be insensitive here but what were you thinking in the first place. That guy wasn’t going to stand around watching you complain about his faithful mountain bike and watch you compare him with your previous boyfriend who had a BMW! Get a life girl and learn to measure a guy’s worth by the diameter of his vehicles wheels... not the amount of leather in the seats!
Aries
I got bad news and worse news for you. Well… the bad news is that all the stars have deserted you this time. Yes… even Uranus… (Even though it is technically a planet) Looks like its going to be a long and lonely Valentine’s Day this time as well. Hey… wait a minute… I am not done with the worse news. The stars say however that your personal space will be invaded… by mosquitoes during nights and flies during the day. I do feel for you… too bad you were born into Aries, but hey, don’t blame me. I am just the messenger!
Taurus
Jupiter will be going out with Venus (lucky bugger!) and mars is stuttering to ask Pluto (yes… out of desperation), but you my friend better keep to yourself this time. Looks like you will have to wait till the moon is reunited with the sun (the next lunar eclipse or solar eclipse – whichever takes longer) before you can even hope to strike a romantic chord with anyone. If you disregard this advice, your relationships will break up within hours (that doesn’t mean you’ll turn into Britney Spears either)!
Gemini
The stars say that all the bad luck you have had in your romantic pursuits has something to do with your health. The stars are showing me your teeth… Hmm… let me think… Right! It is about your oral health and hygiene… I am sorry to put it so bluntly but you will have to go brush your teeth before that all important date – because your breath stinks! A proper bath wouldn’t hurt either. (Darn! I was never good at breaking bad news.)
Cancer
Your stars seem to be jumping the queue yet again... ahem… wait… no they are going on a merry-go-round. Mixed fortunes and misfortunes seem to be the order of the day. You like this guy but he likes your friend and your friend likes this other guy who happens to be his friend’s brother-in-law’s cousin. But that dim wit of a guy likes you, but you like this first guy who only likes your friend who likes his brother-in-law’s cousin… or was it nephew... Err… it’s a vicious circle this… life is!
Leo
Fine! You love the girl and she might like you too, but the stars don’t like your approach. You should win the family over before you can woo the girl you idiot! However, personally I would start by making friends with the dog first… then the family (once you are safe from the barking Rottweiler, you will have the peace of mind to deal with her father who has a shot-gun) and finally the girl. It’s a flawless strategy, but somehow that didn’t work for me the last time though… I mean I made friends with the dog, but nearly got shot by the father!
Virgo
You two are a match made in heaven I tell you. You are simply amazing together. But hey! You got to be out of your mind to give her that ruby ring for Valentine’s Day! Do you have any idea what she’s got for you? She made a cake for you… just a cake! (How cheap I’m telling you…) And out of all that love, she over-baked it. Its charcoal man! You can’t eat that. Here’s an idea… pretend that you are allergic to gluten and sneak it out to the Gemini’s… they could use some charcoal to clean their oral cavities.
Libra
Oh… having love trouble now are we? Everything was ok until Mars jumped on Pluto and ruined it all for you at this extremely critical moment in time. I know how you feel… but we can’t call the love doctor because the guy has volunteered to help out with the Tsunami victims in the south and east since they need more help! Never mind that, you got friends don’t you? You can count on them to make you feel… err… better… sometimes… if you know what I mean... err… you don’t? Never mind… just forget it! Things could be worse. Ask Aries if you don’t want to take my word for it.
Scorpio
Why are you looking so nervous? You look like Saturn when it caught the ring fever… ha haa… that wasn’t a pretty sight! Anyway, are you worried about asking her out? Oh, that’s a tricky business isn’t it? I don’t mean to make you more nervous, but she could turn you down even before you can ask her out you know. Swear to God; it happened to me once! Then again it doesn’t have to be the end of the world… even though it could well be if your friends find out about it. Get drunk on water. That will ease the nerves my friend!
Sagittarius
So you think your good looks and flashy dresses will get any guy you want to play around with and dump, all with the blink of an eye? You are just like the guy across the street who thinks his flashy sports car is a “chick magnet”. Well he is right… I mean the car is a “chick magnet”… just that he isn’t… and when he takes it to the mechanic, the mechanic gets all the girls! Have you ever considered going out with him? He’s a great guy you know… and you two make a great couple!
Capricorn
So you love her, but you are too afraid to tell her how you feel. But seriously, how is she ever going to know how you feel if you don’t tell her? Think she has telepathy ha? The stars are clueless too (they always look the other way and blink when they are clueless. See what I’m trying to say?). At best you could win her heart and live happily ever after. At worst she might slap you or set the dog on you. So why not give it a shot and see? But then again, it’s not that easy is it? (Running away from that mighty Doberman I mean…) Good luck!
While the thorny game of love you play
Keep all your worries out at bay
On this blessed St. Valentine’s Day
It’s not the only day of the year
To attend and care for those who are dear
No matter if they are far or near
Love them each day and make it clear
Aquarius
The stars are all evenly spread out in the cosmos for you so there is nothing significant happening in your loveosphere. Looks like you will have to creep into that pitiable ‘bachelors party’ again and spend Valentine’s Day with the guys – watch a movie, grab some junk food, drink Cola, idle around town, go home and pretend that you had the best Valentines day ever. How could you possibly have all that fun if you had a girlfriend no?
Pisces
You broke up just before the big day – so what! I mean who cares? I don’t mean to be insensitive here but what were you thinking in the first place. That guy wasn’t going to stand around watching you complain about his faithful mountain bike and watch you compare him with your previous boyfriend who had a BMW! Get a life girl and learn to measure a guy’s worth by the diameter of his vehicles wheels... not the amount of leather in the seats!
Aries
I got bad news and worse news for you. Well… the bad news is that all the stars have deserted you this time. Yes… even Uranus… (Even though it is technically a planet) Looks like its going to be a long and lonely Valentine’s Day this time as well. Hey… wait a minute… I am not done with the worse news. The stars say however that your personal space will be invaded… by mosquitoes during nights and flies during the day. I do feel for you… too bad you were born into Aries, but hey, don’t blame me. I am just the messenger!
Taurus
Jupiter will be going out with Venus (lucky bugger!) and mars is stuttering to ask Pluto (yes… out of desperation), but you my friend better keep to yourself this time. Looks like you will have to wait till the moon is reunited with the sun (the next lunar eclipse or solar eclipse – whichever takes longer) before you can even hope to strike a romantic chord with anyone. If you disregard this advice, your relationships will break up within hours (that doesn’t mean you’ll turn into Britney Spears either)!
Gemini
The stars say that all the bad luck you have had in your romantic pursuits has something to do with your health. The stars are showing me your teeth… Hmm… let me think… Right! It is about your oral health and hygiene… I am sorry to put it so bluntly but you will have to go brush your teeth before that all important date – because your breath stinks! A proper bath wouldn’t hurt either. (Darn! I was never good at breaking bad news.)
Cancer
Your stars seem to be jumping the queue yet again... ahem… wait… no they are going on a merry-go-round. Mixed fortunes and misfortunes seem to be the order of the day. You like this guy but he likes your friend and your friend likes this other guy who happens to be his friend’s brother-in-law’s cousin. But that dim wit of a guy likes you, but you like this first guy who only likes your friend who likes his brother-in-law’s cousin… or was it nephew... Err… it’s a vicious circle this… life is!
Leo
Fine! You love the girl and she might like you too, but the stars don’t like your approach. You should win the family over before you can woo the girl you idiot! However, personally I would start by making friends with the dog first… then the family (once you are safe from the barking Rottweiler, you will have the peace of mind to deal with her father who has a shot-gun) and finally the girl. It’s a flawless strategy, but somehow that didn’t work for me the last time though… I mean I made friends with the dog, but nearly got shot by the father!
Virgo
You two are a match made in heaven I tell you. You are simply amazing together. But hey! You got to be out of your mind to give her that ruby ring for Valentine’s Day! Do you have any idea what she’s got for you? She made a cake for you… just a cake! (How cheap I’m telling you…) And out of all that love, she over-baked it. Its charcoal man! You can’t eat that. Here’s an idea… pretend that you are allergic to gluten and sneak it out to the Gemini’s… they could use some charcoal to clean their oral cavities.
Libra
Oh… having love trouble now are we? Everything was ok until Mars jumped on Pluto and ruined it all for you at this extremely critical moment in time. I know how you feel… but we can’t call the love doctor because the guy has volunteered to help out with the Tsunami victims in the south and east since they need more help! Never mind that, you got friends don’t you? You can count on them to make you feel… err… better… sometimes… if you know what I mean... err… you don’t? Never mind… just forget it! Things could be worse. Ask Aries if you don’t want to take my word for it.
Scorpio
Why are you looking so nervous? You look like Saturn when it caught the ring fever… ha haa… that wasn’t a pretty sight! Anyway, are you worried about asking her out? Oh, that’s a tricky business isn’t it? I don’t mean to make you more nervous, but she could turn you down even before you can ask her out you know. Swear to God; it happened to me once! Then again it doesn’t have to be the end of the world… even though it could well be if your friends find out about it. Get drunk on water. That will ease the nerves my friend!
Sagittarius
So you think your good looks and flashy dresses will get any guy you want to play around with and dump, all with the blink of an eye? You are just like the guy across the street who thinks his flashy sports car is a “chick magnet”. Well he is right… I mean the car is a “chick magnet”… just that he isn’t… and when he takes it to the mechanic, the mechanic gets all the girls! Have you ever considered going out with him? He’s a great guy you know… and you two make a great couple!
Capricorn
So you love her, but you are too afraid to tell her how you feel. But seriously, how is she ever going to know how you feel if you don’t tell her? Think she has telepathy ha? The stars are clueless too (they always look the other way and blink when they are clueless. See what I’m trying to say?). At best you could win her heart and live happily ever after. At worst she might slap you or set the dog on you. So why not give it a shot and see? But then again, it’s not that easy is it? (Running away from that mighty Doberman I mean…) Good luck!
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