Friday, October 23, 2009

Old thoughts and expired memories

My father commented this old letter I had written home about four and a half years ago as he was cleaning the "Inbox"... bringing back memories of the 'International Student" that I once was.
"I stand alone among the multitude… just another insignificant head among thousands of others walking along in a big free world. When I come back, along with the stories of pride and joy, of poverty and sacrifice, of victory and defeat, of freedom and confinement, I will also tell you what it feels like to live in a place where you are nobody's son… nobody's brother… or grand child or nephew… where even friends hardly notice you unless they think they are in competition with you and you win. I will also tell you of the pride you feel when you simply manage to survive in such a place for as long as I have… I am sure many others have done it before me, but I stand proud today for going though such times and not losing my sensitivity, my pride, or without forgetting who I am."
It's surreal now to look back at the course of my life. The way I have matured through the it's twists and turns of the last five years... but even more how much I have learnt... and yet remain none the wiser for it.

2 comments:

Tasha said...

What a nicely written letter but well its you writing it! Its not hard to relate to what you have said. Looks like you've done pretty well against all odds. I am going to share this with my brother who is studying abroad!

halwis said...

you are too generous with your compliments Madame... ;-)
I really don't know how well i've done, if I was the severly self-critical type, i may even say i haven't really adjusted to this life even after 5 years, but i think the part that you can relate to also is that it takes a while to settle into the home you eventually build away from home... and getting used to your every thought, and memory being split by the tug and pull of two very different places in opposite corners of the world that you call home...