Balance brought forward

Four years ago, I marked the completion of my 21st year of existence without much ado, but I vaguely remember being a bit excited about legally being considered an adult for all practical intents and purposes. Or perhaps it was just that everyone else was all excited and I am sure part of that excitement rubbed off on me too, but I already felt ‘grown up’ enough to despise the idea of a birthday party, because that seemed too childish and therefore too embarrassing to even consider.
But hitting 25 just four years later was different. Well, I am alone in a foreign land and nobody can hug you over the phone even if they wanted to. But its not just that - things have changed a lot... I have changed. I have no idea as to why I am blogging this, but it probably has a lot to do about the fact that I am just ‘me’ and I can’t help it.
Being 25, I realise perhaps for the first time that, I am not just ‘old enough’ to do anything, but sometimes ‘too old’ to do certain other things that I may never have had the chance to do… or never made use of the chances I had. I started taking stock of my life and the way I have lived it… wondering whether I should have been a bit more foolish at times… a bit more irresponsible and careless… a bit more rebellious… a bit more daring… perhaps also a bit more brave? Well, I guess it takes a brave person to wake up each day and face it with confidence, and you have to be brave to hold on to your course when others change their direction with the wind...
Looking back, I am proud of what I have done with my life so far and the way I've lived it. I probably won't change most if I got a chance to do it all over again, but I wonder whether a part of me regrets the fact that I didn’t make as many mistakes as I should have… taken chances without so much fearing their outcomes… wondering whether it would have been a tad better if I hadn’t been so focussed on living life the 'correct' way and dared to challenge my perceptions and beliefs a bit more. I always played it the way it was inscribed in ancient texts and was at times a misfit among those who embraced the version of 'modernity' that flowed out of American soap operas on TV.
Life has started to accelerate now and it will eventually catapult me into careers, mortgages, marriage, kids… as I battle to squeeze through time and space without as much time to stop and think as I would like to. Decisions have to be made in haste. My friends and I have all but lost the innocence of our childhood, each fighting for his or her place in a world where we have to win just to survive. The transition of best friends into adversaries may have started a few years ago, but the process is nearing completion now and only a few remain friends as we've always been, even as new ones come and go... a few of them might remain.
So I guess, when you turn 25, you just have to brace yourself for the future... close the accounts of gains and losses of the past and just carry the balance forward.

Victoria Bushfires

My four-day holiday at the edge of the bushfires turned out to be one of the best ever... had a feast of a time caving, catching the surf and bushwalking... and came back with some nice photographs in the bag...

These pictures are exactly the way they were taken... I have not enhanced their colours or edited them in any way.

The days were dim and the sun was a purple disk in the sky behind a thickening cloud of smoke...

when I set up the tripod at the edge of the freeway...

to capture some fiery shots...

driving by the 100km firefront

and taking in sights of the cloud of smoke that only the 600,000 hectare fire could create (and also the ash and black rain drops)...

the fires at a distance and the smoke covering the landscape...

a lone windmill seemed unconcerned about the advancing flames, swaying its arms in the wind and smoke...

with fire trucks whistling past in both directions with us scambling behind them...

but even with all the fires around them, people would still pay to eat fried chicken

It's a matter of trust

Last week, the CEO of the online auction site eBay boasted that his company had taught 13 million people to trust each other – almost all of them total strangers! Contrary to any conclusion that ‘pure reason’ may take us to, most of us would trust a stranger with our money – given the right conditions and circumstances - even though we have little or no clue about their identity. It is tempting to reason that people trust eBay and therefore anybody who is selling something on eBay would ‘inherit’ part of that trust, but that may not be the ‘whole truth’.

The fact is we are far more willing than we can even imagine; to trust anyone who is in a position to give us something we want or need at a reasonable ‘price’. What is meant by ‘price’ may not necessarily be a monetary figure, but anything we deem valuable such as social acceptance or even love and reputation, because that is the force that has propelled ‘social networking websites’ into one of the most active realms of the Internet. While a considerable number of members on social networking sites seem to shun interacting with strangers, even most of them are likely to initiate interactions with a stranger who may have common interests or a ‘profile’ that seems very interesting or attractive in some level.

So is the Internet telling us that trust is not something that always needs to be ‘earned the hard way’? What would the word ‘trust’ mean if it is something we would trade willingly to buy the desires of out hearts and minds?

Untitled

When old trees creek with happy songs
And the sea kisses the beach with delight
Shall we trace our steps through the woods
And sit by the sea shore on a starlit night?

When old roads wind up along a lonely hill
Lined by old houses with limestone walls
Shall we walk up the hill on rainy afternoons
And stare through windows at candlelit halls?

When old stars die and with blasts in the sky
On a distant dark corner of the Milky Way
Shall we lie on a little tuft in a grassy plain
And whisper little secrets and tangle in fray?

When old friends hide in the shadows of time
Leaving old memories and their happy tales
Shall we just hold hands and find our place
In each other's hearts, in love that never fails?

Digital touch

I explore the world
From my little corner of the world
Through a seventeen-inch window
Browsing my own thoughts
And dreams
That has condensed
On a flat-panel
Where I can increase
Their resolution and depth
Or make them a bit brighter
If I wanted to
But I click my way through
Until I see you there
And pause, because
I see those eyes in my dreams
And you are in my thoughts
Always